Sunday, May 9, 2010

Gifts from the kids, straight from the heart (and butt crack)

What my children gave me this mother's day.

6:45 - One vomit soaked baby and crib

6:50 - Laundry

7:00 - My biggest fan screaming my name... over... and over... and over. 

7:45 - A potty partner (nothing like a baby on your lap, unraveling toilet paper, to say, "you will never be lonely again!")

8:00 - One ham and cheese scramble coming up!

8:30 - Dishes.

9:00 - A hot, quiet shower.

9:15 - A card, hand-made and delivered to a dripping wet mommy... and the question, "Mommy penis doe?"

9:16 - Laughter

9:40 - A father-son outing and a quiet house

9:55 - One poop-filled diaper... and pants... and shirt (at which point I am pretty sure my 6 month-old smiled and exclaimed, "Happy Mother's Day!")

10:00 - Laundry

10:10 - A late departure for an afternoon with the in-laws

11:00 - 3:00 - Mother's Day Festivities (Train museum and lunch.  It may be Mother's Day, but if toddler's not happy, nobody's happy.)

4:30 - Baby laughter (and hungry toddler tantrums).

5:00 - A sweet sibling moment that went something like this...

The baby cried as I mercilessley sucked mucus from his congested, little nose. Meanwhile, I heard The Tine in the background, rooting through the fridge, mumbling about the baby. I imagined he would emerge with a yogurt demanding that I abandon the baby and help him with his snack. Instead he ran over with a bag full of Bady's cold teethers, pulled one out, and proceeded to shove it in his mouth, repeating, "It's otay baby, it's otay." When the baby shot a grin his way he absolutely lit up and proclaimed, "Daddy, baby happy, baby happy!"

6:30 - A tiny, toddler hand, gently stroking my cheek

6:31 - The knowledge that said tiny, toddler hand just minutes earlier explored the mysterious crevices of tiny toddler's butt crack.

6:32 - More laughter.  The "butt"-induced kind.  (The best kind.)

7:30 - Sweet memories: After a day of fun-filled, train-happy activities I asked my toddler, "What did you do today?"  To which he responded, "I poopoo-ed at Pap's house!" (That was sixty dollars I'll never see again.)

7:45 - A break... finally!

Hope your Mother's Day was filled with the kisses, laughter, and poop-filled diapers that let you know you are loved!


  1. Sounds like a lovely day... I like that your older child gave the baby something to make him feel better. Very sweet!

  2. Ah Mother's Day! I love it, complete with highs and lows. What Mother's Day isn't complete with bodily fluids and functions run amok. ;) Glad to see you had a lovely day.

  3. oh, the fetid hand on your cheek -- i love it :)

  4. Dis.gus.ting. Stuff like that never happens at my house. Never, Kim. Ever.

  5. OMG, you don't even know the conversation I had with Landon yesterday about him putting his hand in his buttcrack...our toddlers are SO similar it's eery!!!

    Nothing says Happy Mother's day like a bunch of poop and puke! Sounds like you had lot of good moments, amidst all the poop and puke!

  6. At 9:15Pm my husband kissed me good-night and said Happy Mother's Day, "Do you think they could have had ANY more tantrums than they did today?"

    That was my day in a nutshell, but that is what being a mother is. I "Mothered" all day long!


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