Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Don't make me come out of this computer!

I am a complete perfectionist.

I would say I hate that about me, but in all my perfectionism I only want to be a better perfectionist.  Perfectionizing in all areas of life to a perfect degree.

So while blogging is a sweet relief, it also constitutes the worst form of torture.

In the form of...

THE PUBLISH BUTTON!

(duh, duh, duh)











I hate that little button.  It seriously taunts me.  (And in a British accent of all things.)

"Would you like to publish this post?  No seriously, you're going to publish this junk?  I mean, I was kind of kidding there.  I didn't think you would actually put these meaningless words on display for all the world to see.  Wait.  What are you doing with that curser.  Get that thing away from me.  Seriously, don't... come... any... closer..."

Well, you get the point. 

I simply cannot post every day. 

When I strive for quantity a vicious cycle commences.

I post.  A few days pass and I get a little jittery.  I notice my bloggy friends are writing two or three posts to my one.  And good ones at that.

So I turn one out.  I ignore the sassy British lady and publish that post.  I breath a sigh of relief and step away from the computer.

And panick. 

What in the world did I just put out there?  Did it even make sense?  Why would I word it like that?  Did I really just use passive voice for three paragraphs?

Well, maybe no one read it yet.  Oh crap, a comment.  Now there's no going back.

I need to write something else.  Quick.  Publish.

Breath.

(Think.)

Did I just write an entire post about laundry?

Now there are times when I am proud of what I write.  When my words at least make me feel something.  I love capturing my emotions at any given point and knowing that in five years I can look back and experience this time in my life all over again.

And perhaps one day I will appreciate my sentiments on the hazards of laundry day.

But probably not.

Oh well, guess it's time to publish this post.

No, you shut up.

Am I publishing a post about publishing posts?  Why yes I am.

Do you have a problem with that?

Oh yeah, well I don't like scones.  So take that.

You're right, I love scones.  I can't get enough of their floury goodness and delicious chunks of chocolate and raspberries and...

Stop trying to distract me!

I

am

going

to

publish

this

7 comments:

  1. You're funny! I am very much the perfectionist. And it's not necessarily a good thing - it has it's drawbacks as I am suer you are well-aware.

    For some reason though, I don't mind posting blog posts... although I am paranoid about possible mistakes (grammar, spelling, etc.).

    For the most part, my perfectionistic personality doesn't inhibit my blogging - which I suppose is a good thing.

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  2. That was really funny :-)

    At the beginning I got really nervous and now I do my posts in advance so I have time to check and recheck, but even today I saw an error on my post that I should have caught and each time I read it, I shudder from letting myself make a mistake!

    I forgive myself since last week sucked so - oh well.

    I am a perfectionist too.

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  3. Meh. I make mistakes all the time. I'm too busy and distracted to notice. As for posting every day, I did that way back when but I couldn't keep up.

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  4. I was so distracted by the scones! Mmmmm, scones.

    But back to the publish button. Yes, I concur, that stupid publish button torments me too. I also tend to obsessively reread what I wrote, then obsessively check for comments, then obsessively reread again. Stupid button. Stupid inner critic.

    Get off my back already!!!

    This was a good post btw. Don't sweat it.

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  5. So funny. I loved this. Glad to know I am not the only one with publishing angst.

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  6. And what is wrong with a British accent may I ask?!?!? :-)
    Your computer talks to you???? I too hate hitting that publish button - always a scary moment. Great post, so funny.

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  7. Wow! I can totally relate. What is it with perfectionists and blogs? We are intimidating the world, one reader at at time! But perhaps we are learning to laugh at ourselves too.?? I just want know if there is an app that coerces hubbies to cook great Thai food. -Karen

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