Friday, April 9, 2010

The Road I Took (And How It Made All the Difference)



    Not now.
      Don't do that.

        Why in the world?

As the parent of a toddler I oftentimes feel engulfed in a world of negativity.

I swim in a sea of "no's," of "do not's" and "cannot's."

I want to rescue my son, to pull him safely to the sunny shores of "yes's" and "thank you's" and "go ahead's."

But I feel stuck.

I vow to stop saying "no."  And I don't say it.


I promise more hugs and kisses.

I give more time out's.

I am tired of it... and I am sure my son is too.

So yesterday I made a small change that made a big difference.

I laughed.

That's it.  I decided to laugh.

My son loves to sit on me the moment I lie on the floor.  It makes working out nearly impossible and makes me super frustrated.

Yesterday I attempted some sit ups while my son watched Bob the Builder.  I thought I was safe, but the moment he spotted mommy prone on the carpet he broke into a huge grin, clambered down from the couch, and threw his 30 plus pound body right on top of me.

And I laughed.

He laughed.

We rolled around in fits of giggles for five minutes, creating a moment I will remember on his first day of kindergarten, his high school graduation, his wedding.

Fast forward to dinner time. 

Both kids are screaming.  It is Mexican night and The Tine wanted chips on the side, but daddy crumbled them on top.  He removed the chips, but the crying continued.

The baby refused his last nap of the day and instead screamed on my lap throughout dinner. 

As I held a teether in my baby's mouth and shouted conversationally with my husband I looked down to see the baby's tiny fist full of rice and refried beans, swiped neatly from my plate and heading towards his teether-filled mouth.

And I laughed.

My husband laughed.

The kids screamed harder.

But I couldn't stop laughing.

And suddenly it wasn't such a big deal after all.

Linked to Feel Good Friday, hosted by The Girl Next Door Grows Up



  1. Nice. This made me smile. Sometimes it's good to just stop and smile (or laugh). To cherish those fleeting moments and enjoy them. I too get caught up sometimes in the negative feeling and the "stops" and "don't do that." It's definitely better to be positive and laugh - hopefully today will be a day full of laughter!

    Happy Friday!

  2. Lovely post - you are so right all too often it really does feel like you are saying no, No, NO, NO!!!! all the time. I am trying instead following advice of fellow bloggers to offer alternatives e.g. you can either put your coat on right now as we are going out or go and sit in the corner on your own in time out. It helps!

    I think you are also so right about that need to laugh. I know I need to lighten up - somehow since I had my daughter my sense of humor is harder to find. Why is that? I think we just get bogged down with the being a good Mommy thing, feeling responsible and ever conscious of so much to do. So it is good to stop and act like a kid sometimes! I need to do it more myself - note to me for today so thank you for that!

  3. This was awesome! I really feel that too about always saying No or a variation of it and I have to work on finding the YES moments and I swear that I yell them cause I really want her to hear that it is possible for me to say YES!!!!

    I do crunches too and somedays I have to quick to it on the bathroom floor! Between the dog and the toddler I babrely make it past the first one!!

  4. I have learned that sometimes the only way I can handle things in life is to laugh. I used to get upset about everything and I would be so grumpy. Now I smile and laugh as much as possible. It makes life more fun. And easier to handle.

  5. This reminds me of the time when I was visiting my grandparents with my husband and our daughter who was 9 months old at the time (she's 16 now, gulp!). We were sitting down to lunch and my grandaddy's chili was the main course. I was busy chit chatting away, holding Meghan in my lap, when all of a sudden she gave a loud squawk and burst into tears. I looked down and saw chili all over her hands and her face! Oh my, she did NOT like her Big Daddy's chili! We've laughed ever since---and she's still kinda wary of it!

    Thanks for stopping by this morning!

  6. Great. I am with you, I try to stop myself from saying "no, get down, get off the cat, put that down," and just go with the flow.

    Have a wonderful weekend.

  7. I remember trying to exercise like that. Laughter is the best medicine! I hope you have a great weekend and are able to cope with those tough moments.

  8. This is such an awesome post, Kim! My kids are often surprised when instead of yelling at them for something I'd normally be upset about, I start laughing.

    It really does help lighten the mood!

  9. roflol, excellent thanks. I love that you said your son would remember it on his wedding day.
    from FGF

  10. Great post! Thanks for coming by. I hope you can make it back by next wednesday for the organizing party.

  11. That is such an inspirational post! Made me smile!!

    ~Mimi @ Woven by Words from FGF

  12. It is amazing how much good a hearty laugh can do. Although I might have some trouble personally eliminating "no" from my vocabulary.

  13. I cling tightly to the belief that laughter is the best medicine. If it weren't for that I would surely go insane.


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